Be Selfish. Be Self-Centered

If everyone gets it, you’re probably doing something wrong

Prologue

It’s late at night and I’m inside replying a snapchat post that says something in the vein of “I didn’t come to the earth to do the bare minimum”. I agreed with that and sent a 💯 in solidarity. I then send over the image below:

I like this because the term is mostly considered a bad one to be qualified with because it speaks to being egotistical and selfish. I used to think this was as well. Now I decide on what I agree to. The freedom to agree to what makes sense to you is something I only discovered in the previous year.

We go back and forth about the term which she didn’t like because of the meaning that goes with it. My argument was so – when one is said to be self-centered, they are said to be arrogant and egotistical. But when the adjective centered is used in relation to a person, they are regarded as in-tune with themselves and self-aware. Qualifying it even more by saying to be centered in self sounds like a pretty positive attribute to attach to someone’s character and being as a whole. So I’m wondering why then should self-centered and centered in self mean such opposite things? I was then hit with a this is what the definition is. Do you understand, Desmond?. My heart sank for a bit. But then I remembered what Miles Davis said: If you understood everything I said, you’d be me. I let it flow through and out of me.

Think Piece

Thinking back to the conversation with my friend where he talks about my actions always being self-serving , I see now that to a degree, that’s totally fine, considering the path I have decided to take.

Speaking with Kwafo today, he talks about the kind of desire and drive that gets you make sure you’re putting out your best work all the time. He mentions how it requires a level of selfishness for you to want something so good for yourself that you make sure to execute to your satisfaction and I totally resonate with that. Rick Rubin talks about the audience being last. The artist should be true to himself – to do it for himself. What you put out in the world should be your diary entries. If they happened to be entertained, great. Put yourself on the kind of pedestal where you want better things for yourself that you push to have it, by your implementation. Same way one would take the time to impress a woman1, you should want to impress yourself as much.

Of course selfishness does not mean gatekeeping knowledge.

Reading this, I can understand how this may look like the words of a cold and greedy person but I would like to ask when the last time was you wanted something better for yourself that you spent your time and attention to achieve and/or acquire? Do you think you’re not good enough? Then you’ll never be. Think you getting it would be you doing too much? Reflect on why you came to think this way. What did you agree to without questioning?

When is it too much?

I think the difference is between the words selfishness and greed. Greed is essentially coveting and that does not fall in the realm of the kind of selfishness that I speak of. It’s a game of self-improvement and not one of envy and jealousy. Having the discipline to stay on the former side can be regarded as the real test. You get bigger as you grow. You’re not living like the others. You start to want what they have. You covet it. Quality goes down. The people no longer see your self in what you do. Spiraling with the force of gravity

I should also note that this is not me saying to be a prick.